Courage and Self Esteem – everyone always wants more of them!

“What is the quickest way to build courage and self esteem?” was a question I got from Chris Burns during the interview I did (icymi Click HERE and scroll to the 3 hour mark).

This is such a good question and I had to think about it for a second (as you can tell from the look on my face).

Ultimately I ended up saying that the quickest way to build self esteem is by doing “esteem-able” acts and the quickest way to get courage is to do courageous acts and feel the fear and do it anyway.

So what does that look like?

An esteem-able act is taking action and behaving like someone who has high self esteem and doing things that people with high self esteem do – Even if you don’t feel like it. 

For example, an esteem-able act is saying “no” to a small request when you’re already stretched too thin and don’t have the time or energy to do it.

If you’re one that feels guilty or like you’re a bad person when you say “no,” realize that people with high self esteem still say “no” because it means they’re taking care of themselves and they know they are still good and kind people even if they say “no.”

In fact, saying “no” can mean they’re better people because they take care of themselves and can serve others even better. Do as they do. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. You’ll help others better if you yourself are full first.

To get more courage, you have to do the scary thing – Even if you don’t feel like it.

Courage does not mean the absence of fear, it means acting in spite of it. It means doing what you know you need to do even if you don’t feel ready because the fear will never be 100% gone.

Prepare, yes, but don’t use preparation to stall and procrastinate to an extent that you can avoid it or not grow or learn.

Prepare for the very next step, and then take it. Then once you’re there, prepare for the very next step and then take it. Do not prepare for the entire feat all at once. Just do what you can and keep moving forward.

How can you apply these tips on self esteem and courage to your assertiveness journey?

Not sure how assertive you are? Take my quiz HERE.


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