I’ve noticed something interesting over the last few months… that society commonly thinks that “assertive” means “aggressive” which is simply not true and is not how I encourage woman to behave at all!

Assertive women are NOT aggressive. Assertive woman are not passive. We are in the middle.

We confidently know how we’d like to be treated and ask for what we want in relationships. If something isn’t working for us, we say so.

But we do it kindly. We do it with respect. We do it with empathy and compassion for others AND for ourselves.

No one said that in order to get what you want, you have to be forceful, rude, bossy, or mean.

In fact, people will respect you more if you’re a kinder, more compassionate person. And you’ll get what you want a whole lot faster and with a lot less angst!

I shared a post yesterday on my Facebook page The Assertive Woman and it says: “You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.”

I think a lot of times, we subconsciously think that when we say “no,” we’re a cold and heartless person and feel a lot of guilt about it! But this is simply not the case and you don’t have to feel that way!

It is possible and always encouraged to have a kind heart and be a good person, obviously, and you can still say “no” because you’re a good person with a kind heart TO YOURSELF too.

No one says you have to be kind-hearted to everyone else, but yourself!

So if there is someone who is pushing their limits with you or not respecting your boundaries, it is 100% okay and appropriate to say “no” or “stop” or some other relevant phrase.

This is especially important in times of your physical safety. Don’t try to be kind to someone who could be dangerous! Always trust your gut instinct.

So the key to assertiveness is to communicate how you feel in a respectful and kind way, and realize that you are a good person with a kind heart even if you say “no” sometimes 🙂

What do you think?

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