Which one are you? In general, we probably all agree it’s better to be selfLESS. Altruistic. Generous. Charitable.
But is it really?
According to the online thesaurus, “loving” is a synonym for “selfless.”
Loving to whom? If you’re truly selfless, you generally think about others’ needs before your own and help others at your own expense. The literal definition is “having little or no concern for oneself.”
That is definitely not how I would describe “loving” at all! Especially not to ourselves!
But what is at the opposite end of the spectrum?
Everyone hates that word. From childhood, if you were called selfish, it often felt very ostracizing and a stab to the heart (only child here, I heard it more often than I would of liked as a kid, even though I never could figure out why haha!).
But is loving yourself really that selfish? I can definitely say NO, it is NOT selfish to love yourself and take yourself into consideration! Why?
Because when you practice good self care and take care of yourself, you feel happier…
And when you feel happier, you behave better (and everyone can get on board with that!).
You may not snap at the barista this time for putting cow’s milk instead of soy milk again. You may let the car in front of you merge into your lane instead of speeding up to cut him off.
Everyone benefits when you’re happier.
Let’s kill the idea that women need to be selfless to be good people! If you struggle with this, you’re officially off the hook!
Good self care is the foundation to assertiveness. If you’re completely selfless by definition and believe it is selfish to take care of yourself, that’s where you need to start on this journey.
It’s not healthy to be selfless OR selfish in my opinion. A healthy relationship with yourself starts with you taking good care of yourself and still being generous with others as well (which also makes us happy!).
Are you convinced?
If so, comment below with 1 thing you’ll do this week as self care. It could be skipping the book club meeting if you’re feeling drained and just need a night in. Or it could be getting your nails painted at lunch for a quick pick-me-up.
Whatever it is, let me know! Or just write it down and do it 🙂
I trust you’ll feel inspired to continue with it week in and week out and you’ll start to feel happier and more generous to others in return.